One of my biggest hurdles recently has been making choices around the way that I am treated by those around me. I know this sounds kind of insane, but we choose the way people treat us. We choose the support we receive and we choose our own value and worth. Whatever we choose as our value the world meets us at.
Yes you are seeing that right, Tiffany’s makes a $165 paper clip simply because they can and they know they can charge it. One of my choices has been to eliminate anyone and anything that doesn’t see me as that $165 paper clip. Every time something happens I ask myself, how would $165 paper clip me react to this situation?
Everyday the way you let the world treat you is a choice.
This past year, and honestly the past few months have been the greatest growth in realizing those that I thought loved and cared for me were either using or frankly cared more about themselves than me. Learning that it had nothing to do with my worth and everything to do with their own lack of self worth. I think for all of us the hardest thing to accept is even those closest to us may not always value us or have our best interest at heart.
Make it your time to be a $165 paper clip, choose your value, choose those who value you. Know your worth. Know what you want the world to see you as and choose that, the world will meet you there.
There are those days/ weeks/ months (lets be real it can get rough) when it feels like life throws you everything its got. You really have two choices, you can let the crap stop you in your tracks OR you can use it as fuel to keep going.
This past week threw everything it had at me. Did you know this entire blog was deleted for a day? My previous host did it when they scanned it because my other site was over taken by a Russian Gaming site. Yup! Tears in the shower absolutely happened! But I made the choice, I found a new host (with an awesome black Friday special), got everything transferred, saved a ton of money, and to be honest I’m glad it happened now and not 3 years down the line after my other site was fully functional. So much was getting thrown at me at work, the newest addition to my little family Diana was sick (she’s perfectly fine now so no worries), and work was throwing garbage at me at the speed of light. The easiest choice was to throw in the towel and just not deal.
Right then and there I made the choice, I chose to dance in the shit storm that life was throwing at me. (Points if you get the photo reference) I made the choice to tackle it all head on and keep going, giving up on my dreams and my life isn’t the answer. There will always be crap days but there will also be fantastic days, learning to choose to make even the bad days good days and tackle even the worst crap head on is the only way to make your dreams happen. There will always be obstacles, the way you show up for those obstacles is the way you show up for everything in life!
So Dapper Day weekend was an insanely fun weekend, I really was able to escape hang out and not think about anything but having fun and dressing up. I ate whatever I wanted and really didn’t think too much about it, something we all SHOULD be doing daily. Monday morning came and I hopped on that scale and I had gained weight. Every alarm bell went off in my brain and I started FREAKING OUT! Every you are fat demon came running back at an insane pace. I immediately started running with the incredibly unhealthy ways to quickly drop the weight back off.
I realized quickly what was happening, took a giant deep breath and reexamined with fresh eyes what was really going on. Taking that quick breath stopped me from spiraling down an incredibly scary and dangerous path. The battle never really ends with our demons. The little voice that says “You aren’t skinny enough, you aren’t pretty enough, you aren’t good enough, you aren’t enough” always will exist. Its up to us wether or not we choose to listen to it. Its a serious battle every day, its a battle of wether or not I want to win or give in. But every day I choose me! I choose living and I choose happiness. Its been a long tough road to get to a place where its a choice for me and where it doesn’t control my life any more and every day I am grateful for that because I know for so many its not that easy and it hasn’t always been.
For the longest time that little thing controlled my worth, value and self esteem. Those demons still lurk so many years later, despite being “recovered,” we all have our good days and bad and its ok. Everything is about what you choose to do with them. Don’t let the demons that lurk control your life!
My best friend and I were watching the new Sabrina series when episode 7 came on. The witches were talking about how there was no greater honor than to be eaten. It hit both of us so incredibly hard how much this emulated the party princess community and their devotion and extremism when it comes to being a princess.
A costume in the parks changed due to it causing severe pain and serious permanent nerve damage to performers (Literally was told by a friend she couldn’t feel her arm half way through her shift). The uproar in the party princess community was insane and it is any time a costume gets changed it is beyond silly to me. The literal responses were that its an honor to make under $15 an hour and have permanent nerve damage. Read that last sentence again… Its an honor to make barely above poverty level and have life long nerve damage. There are a great many things that come with those kinds of jobs that are just part of it, horrible summer heat, getting sneezed on, peed on and asked weird questions by small children who frankly don’t know any better. However the parallel that we both saw was beyond mind blowing. The moment that any thing in our lives moves to a point where our well being is being sacrificed we need to take a serious hard look at things.
I just wish we would all take a breath, look at what we are all committing ourselves truly to and if its really worth being eaten over. There is always a greater honor than being eaten!