My best friend and I were watching the new Sabrina series when episode 7 came on. The witches were talking about how there was no greater honor than to be eaten. It hit both of us so incredibly hard how much this emulated the party princess community and their devotion and extremism when it comes to being a princess.
A costume in the parks changed due to it causing severe pain and serious permanent nerve damage to performers (Literally was told by a friend she couldn’t feel her arm half way through her shift). The uproar in the party princess community was insane and it is any time a costume gets changed it is beyond silly to me. The literal responses were that its an honor to make under $15 an hour and have permanent nerve damage. Read that last sentence again… Its an honor to make barely above poverty level and have life long nerve damage. There are a great many things that come with those kinds of jobs that are just part of it, horrible summer heat, getting sneezed on, peed on and asked weird questions by small children who frankly don’t know any better. However the parallel that we both saw was beyond mind blowing. The moment that any thing in our lives moves to a point where our well being is being sacrificed we need to take a serious hard look at things.
I just wish we would all take a breath, look at what we are all committing ourselves truly to and if its really worth being eaten over. There is always a greater honor than being eaten!
After so many years of struggling with learning to have a more healthy relationship with food the one thing I’ve never learned to have a better relationship with is the mirror. See what you see when you see a photo of me is not the same as when I see the same exact photo or myself in the mirror.
No matter how fit I get, how ripped my abs are or thin I am, I can still pick apart my body. I could sit and pick apart every “flaw” for hours. There is no being happy with how I look. I genuinely will never be able to see what you see. Now can I tell myself its a crazy voice in my head? YES! Has that always been the case? NO!
When I let someone tell me the way I looked defined my value was the day this monster took over my mind and it never totally left. I know this voice that says I’m not good enough is crazy. Have I gotten to a place where this monster no longer controls my life? Absolutely! Its still there, but it no longer controls me.
(Obligatory pug photo… cause pug!)
The worst part might be the worry about other people judging my size, my body or how I look. Choose your words wisely, you never know the battles people are fighting.
I saw someone recently post that they felt so lost at 22. She has friends getting married and having kids, others still partying and drinking. Somehow she is caught in the middle with no idea where to be. The sentiment is clearly shared among many by the comment section.
The idea that this feeling ever really ends was possibly the most laughable part of all. Society gives us this idea that by some made up age we should have it all “figured out” is beyond laughable. Life happens! I was on one path and the rug was pulled out from under me. I was a super big health nut and I was not just injured but devastatingly injured with pain I still deal with even as I write this blog that ended my career at the theme park I worked for (FYI when they injure you they pretty much abandon you at the park I worked for) so it was back to square one for me. It was reinvention time, so I started my company, that didn’t align with me so here I am again. 32 reinventing myself again, granted with a ton less pain so I may dabble back prior to my injury but at the end of the day ITS OK.
We are all a work in progress and we don’t have to have the answers ever, we are different people when we go to bed than when we woke up. You aren’t stuck with what you wanted when you woke up and its ok!
We are all always a work in progress, we are always changing so what we want will always change. New opportunities will pop up, new circumstances will happen and things in life will always shift. You are not stuck with anything in life. Keep chasing what makes you happy!
“You are enough, you are so enough, it’s unbelievable how enough you are” -Sierra Boggess
This past few weeks have been ones of tons of contemplation. There has been a lot of falling on my face and feeling “not good enough” and doing tons of comparing my life to what it “should be.” There is still the what comes next question, it still lingers in the back on my mind.
At the end of the day we don’t have to have all of the answers, and our worth isn’t determined by them. Your worth isn’t determined by the dollars in your bank account, the car you drive or the job you have. You are enough as you are.
Don’t let the world tell you that you need to be something, you should be doing something or that your life should be something.
Never let someone tell you that you need to be something, you should be doing something or that your life should be something. Life never works out the way we plan it to. IT’S OK! There are days its really hard to feel like you are “making it” as an adult, but you are! Are you going to work and paying bills and somehow making it happen day to day? Then yes! You are successfully aduting. Never let anyone give you crap if you are happy!