Its amazing how many people forget that we only put what we want others to see online for others to see especially on social media.
1) Stop comparing your life to others. Its our world through the rose colored glasses we want others to see. Comparing your actual life to what you see on social media is the thief of joy! No one talks about the low lows, the boring days, or the days that don’t seem important or glamorous. People don’t share about the days full of anxiety so crippling that you can’t move. No one talks about the days where you don’t feel good enough, that you feel like you are no one and nothing.
2) Take a list of all of the wonderful things you do have in your life. Believe me its way more than you realize. Cuddling my pugs, soaking in the sunshine, a great walk,a chat with a friend, or a quiet dinner with my love always reminds me how lucky I really am. Joy is in the small moments we keep forgetting exist.
3) Choose joy! I know this sounds easier said than done, but joy and happiness is something we choose. Times can be tough, things can really suck and the blackness can seem to be never ending but at the end of the day we choose how we see the world (yes there are super real conditions but were not talking about that). There is so much we can’t change and sit and stress about. IT IS WHAT IT IS! Don’t let things you can’t change rob you of your joy.
Every time you see what you think looks like someone’s “perfect life” don’t compare it to your own, remember its what they want you to see, not what it really is!
Since this is post 100 for me I thought what better to write about than my “how I was hired story.”
I’m super unique and lucky (it’s luck let’s be honest) that I was hired from my very first audition. But I can honestly say it was an incredibly odd experience. When I got in the room and started my comedic monologue, and within 10 seconds the casting director literally stopped paying attention at all to me and started shuffling papers. I finished my monologue and I was handed and was asked to read a side from a certain movie. Once again within 10 seconds the casting director stopped paying attention. I felt incredibly defeated, and then I was asked to come to a fitting. Their team would be in contact with me within two weeks to set up the date.
Two weeks on the nose I got a call for my time and date to come in for a fitting. I was put in a white van a long with 6 others who were all there for fittings. Two for each character.
We were brought to a fairly run down trailer with racks upon racks of costumes, costumes of ALL KINDS! We were then put in a randomly pulled wig and costume. We got dressed in a bathroom supervised by a manager, the wig was quickly plopped on our heads and the costumes weren’t required by any stretch to fit. The casting director was not present and they took multiple polaroids (this was before digital cameras), front and sides.
Then it was the don’t call us we will call you speech, if you don’t hear in two weeks you didn’t get it… It was the longest two weeks ever! Then two weeks to the day at 5pm I got and missed a call from entertainment.
Needless to say its a very unique story that changed my life in so many good and bad ways.
In the past few months I have had to face two of my biggest demons. My chronic migraines, which leads to a whole slew of mentally dark places, as you can imagine being in constant literal blinding pain that never stops, and the medication with horrible side effects including insane weight loss (nearing 20 pounds and nearing what I weighed when I starved myself). I’ve gotten really good at hiding how much weight it really is.
The thing is I’m afraid of the judgement still, I’m afraid of the comments and the still body shaming that comes with sudden and unexplained weight loss. At the end of the day the demons will always exist, and that level of weight loss will always be a trigger (lets be real how can it not be one?). The “You look amazing” comments are always a trigger, I mean did I look disgusting before?
The dreaded scale…. Its such a double ended sword. I have to monitor the level of weight loss medically for my physical well being but I also have to avoid feeding my demons. This balance has been an insane struggle I can’t begin to explain to all of you.
So until I feel a little more comfortable in my new skin you may not see a ton more looks… they will be coming but new content on how to shop is still on its way incredibly regularly! <3
Social media is so great at giving us this ability to show the world what we want them to see, we rarely see what the actual reality is. I think its so quickly forgotten that social media isn’t what it seems from the surface! Very few people put their real dirty laundry out there for everyone to see. (I mean unless they are one of THOSE Facebookers)
Most people don’t put the castings that didn’t happen, the auditions they bombed, the fight they had with their significant other or the day they just wanted to quit it all.
I remember so many days running my company, working in the park and performing full time that I made it seem like my life was so perfect on social media. No one knew I was financially struggling, I was emotionally in and out of depression and my weight was all over the place. I was really good at making everyone think I was living a perfect fairytale when I was living in my own lonely nightmare.
Lets be real I’m typing this drinking a glass of spiked sparking water in an oversized t, no bra and sweat pants, hair in a messy bun with ZERO makeup, surrounded by gassy snoring pugs (ok the pug part is everything you see on social media lets be honest)