Real Talk

4 Types of Bullies and How to Deal with Them

Like let’s be real, mean people suck.  Some girls (yes I used girls on purpose and that can mean adults with children) never grow out of the nasty behaviors they learned as small children.  There are people who are just plain jerks and don’t seem to either care or notice!

There will always be those miserable people who get off, or make themselves feel better by putting others down.  It’s not personal, it’s not you and it’s nothing you did wrong.  There are so many reasons people are nasty, rude or mean and it has nothing to do with you.  This is the behavior that serves them on some level, read that again, it serves THEM.   Now I have categorized them into 4 types for you so you can better understand them.

1) The imposter syndrome, anyone ever feel like they are faking it and no ones figured it out yet that you are a fraud? Yea, imposter syndrome is super real.  Some people handle it better than others, some take it as an opportunity to grow others push everyone away so no one will see that they are the fraud they think they are.  Let’s be real most of the time people really aren’t.

2) A cycle of feeling bad, everyone has been through that period where you just feel crummy and so you are just rude to everyone, then you feel bad about being rude so you are in an even worse mood so you are then nastier to everyone and so we have a viscous cycle.  There are people seriously stuck in that rut and can’t get out, they are just plain miserable.

3) Pain, let’s be really honest, there are people who are just in so much pain and like a little dog they lash out and bark to keep anyone from getting close.  Life brought them trauma, or pain or just suck and now they want everyone to stay away so they can’t get hurt again.  These are people just plain lashing out and it’s their pain talking.

4) Insecurity, now this is totally different from the imposter syndrome.  This is just someone who feels threatened or uncomfortable in their skin.  This person is just lashing out so no one sees that they are uncomfortable and don’t like themselves.

As you can see none of these things have ANYTHING to do with anyone other than the person lashing out and being a jerk.  None of these are excuses to be a jerk (there’s never an excuse for treating others terribly).

Here’s a few things you can do about people who behave like this.  The first is to avoid confrontation, these are people who behave like children so confronting them only ends super ugly.  Kill these people with kindness and if they are a person who can be reasoned with (let’s be real not everyone can and it won’t always end well no matter how you approach) let them know there are better ways to talk to you but keep in mind you can’t change people and it’s not personal.   Now for the people who flat out are just not someone you can confront you have two choices, you can either not take it personal and put up with it or distance yourself from them in your life, your choice.

There will always be mean, nasty, rude people in the world but hopefully understanding them better means that you will have the tools to deal with and choose how to handle those people.  Go fourth and be truly happy, don’t let someone else’s unhappiness drag you down.  You are never to blame for someone else’s unhappiness!

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